Very good news: you might never be without a coozie once again.
1. There isn’t any such thing as a “quick journey” anywhere because even Dallas is a small city. She’ll see her fourth-grade instructor’s nephew during the food store and invest a complete half-hour paying attention to him describe their current colonoscopy.
2. She would prefer to perish than fail to RSVP. Her copy of Emily Post is much more well-worn than a preacher’s bible. She is a cotillion graduate. She never ever turns up to a celebration empty-handed and delivers a thank-you note if you a great deal as gave her a hankie.
3. But you can be drunk by her beneath the dining table. Between most of the fairs, weddings, tailgates, deb balls, and oyster roasts, she’s had a complete lot of training.
4. Her tailgate prep is more complex than Eisenhower’s maneuvering at Normandy. You can find six types of punch, 11 chips and dips, and much more sausage balls than you are able to shake a stick at. And why don’t we not even get yourself started her outfit вЂ” shehas got to obtain a blowout, manicure, and wax before she will even begin to start thinking about that.
5. She actually is extremely religious. She’s never ever misses a site in the United Church of SEC Football, and is a believer that is fervent her lord and savior, Bear Bryant.
6. Fried is a food team. She additionally knows which out-of-the-way shacks have actually the most useful barbecue.
7. Simply because she speaks sluggish doesn’t means she’s stupid. Certain, shehas got a drawl that is charming but she actually is additionally got a master’s in biochemical engineering, sugar, and also you’d be a fool to underestimate her. Continue reading